Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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