why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
