Quick, to the slutcave!
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
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