Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
