i just had sex bonerless
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
