he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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