I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Randomize
