I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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