I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
