I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
