I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just had sex on a roof
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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