So drunk, too bad you don't want this
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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