her vagine was all disorganized.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I enjoy the company of your penis
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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