I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
