After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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