Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
