She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
