Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
