WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
