he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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