I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
