She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
