I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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