just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
jump out the window naked night went bad
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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