Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
