I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
That was an excessively violent trivia night
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
