Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
