he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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