the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
