jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Two words: blizzard sex
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
