he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You pole danced in your parka.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Randomize
