His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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