I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize