eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
