how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
