I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize