we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
My vagina is officially offended.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
