I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
