Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
