Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
