my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
