Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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