I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
