I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
