Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
so much tequila, so little girl.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
