Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize