explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
