you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I didn't notice because vodka
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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