Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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