thus making me awesome and them whores
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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