He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
