How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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