he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
