I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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