I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
