i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
