Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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