Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm determined to sit on that face.
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