She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
