I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
