he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
two words...techno handjob
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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