I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
