since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
