Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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