i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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