Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
