dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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