Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
