I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
