Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
