Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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