so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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