so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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