Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
