there was a trapeze. enough said
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
